Thoughts on a Letter
by Phoenix Lumen
Summary: 'Zaitsu Misao is not who she would have expected to have given her the first confession letter she receives, ever.'...'Because behind a 'monstrous appearance', there was a boy with the sweetest heart, who took care of his younger brother and couldn't say her name without stuttering.'


Zaitsu Misao is not who she would have expected to have given her the first confession letter she receives, ever. (Or even who she was hoping for, in all honesty.) He was tall, like _well_ over six feet tall, with a scary appearance, and she thinks in the intervening time between his confession and now, he might have grown even taller.

She remembers how everyone _cringed_ away, or even ran away when he appeared, and looks back at everyone, at _herself_, in disgust. She remembers how people, some of her _friends_ had run away when he'd showed up, and how she'd wished her legs had been working so she could do the same.

How she'd cowered behind her bag when he'd pulled his hand out his pocket. How Kei had mentioned him being a twenty-first century demon. How her friends had laughed at his letter, his handwriting.

How she herself had called him a monster. How they'd worried about his reaction if she refused him. How petrified she'd felt that evening when eating dinner and that story had come on the news.

Because beyond what was a 'monstrous appearance', there was a boy with the sweetest heart, who took care of his younger brother and couldn't say her name without stuttering.

Who'd, on re-reading his confession letter, addressed her as 'sama'.

Sure, he might have unusually curly hair, and look like he spends every spare second of his day working out in a gym instead of going to class, but Arihara Ayumi knows he cares for her beyond any level of comparison, except for maybe Mamoru, his baby brother.

(She'd fallen in love with Mamoru-kun because he'd carried her to the infirmary, and because….because…..?)

But to be compared to family, well, that's not the worst thing in the world, right?

*初恋限定*

"You…..you what?" She's talking with Mamoru at the top of the staircase, just where they can get a bit of privacy.

"Your first date shouldn't be with me. You…you should go out with my brother." Is…is he seriously saying-

"But…but I want to go with you!" How is she supposed to _get_ him to fall in love with her if they don't go out on dates so he can _get_ to know her?

"I….I can't go out on a date with you before you go on one with my brother; he's the one who confessed to you and likes you in that way!"

He….she bows her head as she sighs, he has a point. She might want to go out on a date with Zaitsu-kun, but Zaitsu-san has actually confessed his feelings, which she'd done to Zaitsu-kun nearly a year after his older brother had confessed to her….and she'd done it right in front of Zaitsu-san as well.

Gods, that had been cruel of her, in retrospect.

"Fine." She nearly bites it out, having some difficulty getting the word over her lips. The smile Mamoru gives is….amazing. "Tell him…" She thinks to herself for a minute; what would be the ideal first da- the 'd' word, that the elder Zaitsu sibling is likely to screw up so she can da- go out with the one she's actually interested in?

"Tell him I'm coming by at six o'clock tonight." There, short notice and completely vague. It was near enough rude, but…..that's the way things have to be done!

She bows, and near enough runs down the stairs, ignoring the stuttering 'Arihara-san' he calls out. It's a trial, but she also ignores his attempts to speak to her before classes begin again, and in the short breaks between the different classes, which she knows causes no end of confusion amongst her friends.

*初恋限定*

"I think my feelings may never ever be returned." She'd admitted her feelings on the subject to Kei-chan and Doba-chan at school.

"Just being told 'I love you'…gives you joy….makes you tingle….and makes you feel awkward." Doba-chan had stated. "But it feels so good…"

Kasuda-kun had said the older Zaitsu brother was someone with 'nothing to lose', that 'a guy like that has to have a lot of guts to give a letter'.

Zaitsu-san had had the strength of character to confess to her, even though the two of them hadn't known each other. That…that had really taken some courage.

*初恋限定*

She doesn't intentionally arrive outside the Zaitsu house early, but she supposes in her worry, she hadn't thought about how fast she'd been walking. She'd spent hours wondering about her clothes, only to pause once she had her hands on the one she was currently wearing, asking herself just why she was going to such an effort. It wasn't the best outfit she could have made, but definitely not the worst.

Only an hour ago, she'd been at home….

"So, what you up to, chibi-chan?" Distractedly, as she picks out from what jewellery she has something that will match this outfit, she answers her older brother.

"I'm meeting up with Zaitsu-kun at the cinema." She doesn't register how, with the way her thoughts have changed about the Zaitsu brothers, her way of talking of them has changed.

"Ooh, is that s- YOU WHAT? THAT SNOT-NOSED PUNK?!" Wow, her brother's feelings regarding Zaitsu-kun must have _really_ changed. Hadn't he been petrified of him before? "Why I outta-"

"Onī-san!" Out comes the voice he can't resist. "We're just meeting up, maybe with a couple of friends." Maybe not. "I'll see you later, alright."

"Alrig- NO! Not alright!" He crosses his arms back and forth in front of him a few times. He begins to rant, pacing back and forth, and she takes the chance.

She's three streets away before he even realises she's gone; she knows this because of the loud shout of her name and the dust cloud that shoots past her hiding place….going in near enough the wrong direction.

*初恋限定*

She sways back and forth, finger going near the bell and then pulling back. Maybe she should just leave and make the elder more than aware of her true feelings on the subject. She nods to herself, ready to walk away, only to stop.

He'd had the courage to confess to her, so she….she should at least have the courage to go on one, little, da…da….outing with him.

Oh gods, she's dreading it. She presses the bell.

*初恋限定*

How someone so tall and dangerous looking can make himself seem so short and innocent is really beyond her. He's almost toeing the ground in front of him as she looks him over, somehow peeking _up_ at her before lowering his gaze to the ground again. For someone as tall as he is, that takes talent.

Considering the short amount of time she's given him to prepare, he's….not actually done that badly.

His shoes are shined to such a degree, she thinks she can just about see her reflection in them. His clothes are clean and pressed. His hair has been…_slightly _tamed, to enough of a degree where she can see how he and Mamoru are related.

She's actually getting a bit…excited about this?

"Shall we get going then?"

*初恋限定*

**Author's Note: **This fic is more of a ficlet, in the fact that it seems somewhat incomplete, but even after watching the anime twice through, I haven't managed to get a real good grasp of the characters. Anywho, I've done the best I can, so…..

For anyone who thinks it's a bit like Paranoid Crack Abuser's story, Primitive Ardency, well, it's my inspiration for this story. If you liked this story even a little, you'll love that story, so….go read it!


End file.
